Tarot, gut feelings and getting out of $200K in debt

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She’d pulled the “Death” card.

Sunburned, blue-eyed and soft-spoken, Alicia was sitting by the side of the Venice Boardwalk, reading Tarot for $20 a pop, back in the early 90’s.

Me? A desperate 24 year-old who was about to have her parents loose their life savings all the way back in Germany. Because I decided to “bet the farm” on building a business (a coffee shop) with a hustler named Billy, who saw my country bumpkin ass coming from a mile away.


What gives?


Growing up in a tiny German farming village with an alcoholic father, I couldn’t get out fast enough. Left with a backpack and a “Lufthansa-under-25” ticket to New York City, made my way to the west coast, gloriously naive and thrilled with my newfound freedom.

Hello, Venice, California!

Half-asleep one early morning at the laundromat I crossed paths with the most charismatic Trickster I had ever met. Fell for him, hard, like the love-starved little girl with attachment issues that I was. Sorry folks, not a snowball’s chance in hell for me to get around this karmic train wreck!

Four days later I moved in, before the week was out, he asked to borrow money. My gut was screaming at me to get out, but I was hellbent on holding on.

“Well, fine then, it’s your funeral!” said my gut.

And so it was.


A year and a half later and $200K in debt after two failed businesses with the Trickster I ended up at Alicia’s. I’d never seen a Tarot deck, never had a reading before. And yet, here was this woman telling me exactly what was going on in my life. And where I was headed:


“… you’re going to experience a huge transformation, you’ll need to let go of things you might not be ready to release, you can choose to fight it and get hurt or be willing to let go and life will go easier on you…”


For the astrologers among us: At that time Pluto was transiting my Scorpio South Node, so that’s the kind of shit show that unfolded.

That’s the kind of shame I carried around with me for a long time after, for the pain I had caused my family.

That’s the kind of “resurrection” I experienced when I decided that the only way out was through.

That the only way for me to survive was to start my own coffee shop.

Even though I had no job, no green card and less than $300 to my name.

So I did.


But that’s a story for another time.


For now, here’s what’s important:

Within days of my encounter with Alicia I got myself my own Tarot deck and for the next year and half, while digging myself out of the hole I’d created, the images of the Tarot were my constant, trusted “flashlight” through that dark tunnel. The cards and I “clicked”, I leaned to “speak” image, archetype and meaning. Most importantly, I learned to respect and trust the messages the cards were conveying.


Today I am offering the service that Alicia provided for me:

To use the Tarot to mirror back the energetic currents in my clients’ lives. To provide a picture of “what is” and where it’s all headed, so they can have clarity about what’s next.

So they can make decisions from a place of agency and empowerment. And walk away with an answer to this question: What is my Next Right Action?